A DRUNKEN STUDENT AND A MASTER !!!

It was a hectic day. After all cycling 100 km, though a passion, is no small effort in hot summer. If I count on one person, with whom I match pedal to pedal, it has to be Doctor Pawan. As we reached the corner of Shivaji College, and after biding a customary adieu, to my cycling partner, I sped along straight towards home. As I neared Shivaji statue, a man in police uniform, with a stick in his hand, grabbed a hold of my bicycle handle and suddenly brought my pedaling to an abrupt halt. It was a young police constable, who forced me to stop. Though my ethical and moral courage dominated the unanticipated stop, I must admit that, a policeman stopping you randomly does give you goosebumps of fear. As I looked into his eyes and the things that followed, took me into reminiscence a couple of years back.

It was summer time in the college, and working for the examination section brings oneself into such situations, where solutions are not found in the rule book. It is an experience outside the classroom, where you have to deal with those students who are not directly ‘your students’. You know them the least, and the teacher within you, provides an equal examination opportunity, to test what sort of a teacher you are. One of the most common practices by the students in our area is to bring chits for copying, and one of the most common tasks for a teacher is to be vigilant enough, do not allow them to copy. Still we are eons behind, where we can inculcate the basic principles of education, and make the students understand and realize that copying is self-destructing. Though many of them dilute and get isolated into pure cultures, understanding this ‘education philosophy’ and succeed in their life, many of them fall into the shortcut trap. Thus ‘Invigilation’ programme is one of the most dominated and practiced ritual by University Professors, in these exam times.

I was doing rounds in classrooms stuffed with students, resembling a pen stuffed with goats, except that they were obedient with their heads down, writing papers giving one of the most serene scenes ever for a teacher. But only mother Saraswati, knew what dwelt inside their racking brains, disturbed minds and turbulent hearts. While I crossed them amidst a row of tables, a boy of age around eighteen was head down struggling to write, I checked, he was not copying, no nuisance, and dead silent. I stopped for a second, a strong repelling smell of alcohol remixed through the exhaled air of human lungs, finding way out of an, what seemed to be an possible ‘alcoholics’ nostrils, rammed into mine, a total teetotaler. I gave a suspicious stare at the full row of students. I was taken aback, flabbergasted as it was not only due to an alien olfactory intrusion in that sanctum sanctorum, but also due to the disbelief element, which I had for the first time in the 25 years of campus life. What followed was a novel experience.

I just moved on, for there was nothing to be taken care of. No commotion, no misbehavior, no copying, no nuisance. While I was returned to the custodian chamber, after completing the vigil rounds, my team members too undergoing the same drill, experienced the same emotions, and went a step further. Rule books always have last pages left blank, for no one knows when a new one has to be written. They grabbed that young fellow of 18, who as drunk with the distilled solvent, to the Principal’s chamber. He was nevertheless completely in his senses, except for the smell which was revealed, by his antagonist breathe, he meant no harm neither to anybody nor to the system. He was trembling like a leaf, instantly begging for mercy, which the stakeholders of the disciplinary committee, were themselves scanty of, to provide. He was constantly asked why he did that act, in such a tone of argument and brawl, that the young confused and terrified mind of the youth had long back gone blank. He was just begging for mercy. With no one showing compassion, or really trying to ‘Listen’ to his say, the period of ‘examination’ had reversed like a challenge on me. I was until now a mute spectator. With seniors in opposition to his act, the Principal retorted in sarcasm, “Speak out now, or I will ring the Police!” And he picked the phone from the cradle.”

Involuntarily, an inner voice gathered strength and found way out of my mouth. May be, just like that smell of alcohol, which came from the culprits mouth. “Stop sir! Don’t do that! You will ruin a premature career or may be a life”, I almost uncharacteristically yelled and continued, “What are we for, if the police had to be called? We can do what the police can’t and won’t!”, my voice had lost amplification at the end of the sentence, as I saw most experienced senior eyes glaring me, point blank. The Principal was a man of principles who darted back, “Young man! Do you take his responsibility then? Do you take responsibility for his every action from here on? Will you be his guardian, so we can summon you next time and not him?” To avoid further questionnaire, I most confidently responded back “Yes! Sir, and tell me if I have to sign any papers for that, and I agree to that too.” The Principal proudly articulated the act of mine to his fellow contemporaries “I want more people like him! Yes! you can take him away with you, and do remember the responsibilities and consequences if your faith fails.” I responded “Yes! I do” sincerely knowing that I didn’t.

I took the boy by his hand, pulled him out of the commotion scene, from the Principal’s chamber and ordered him to follow me. The boy burst out into tears. I always believed tears are female ornaments and I was never moved by male tears shed out of disgust, agony or sympathy, nevertheless male tears of affection, love and joy moved me the most. I was immune to his acts of crying and it was a long corridor to my Department. I ordered him to sit in front of me, where no student sits morally, till he becomes one of us, and that too after completing their degrees. I offered him a glass of water, which he gulped down and after emptying it, he showed no formalities, when I asked if he wanted more, two more glassed found way through his throat, which not only compensated the tears, which had stopped flowing now, but also temporarily pushed back the smell of liquor. I asked his name. He said it was Raju.

He then narrated his story. In short it was like this. He was the lone son of a farmer with four acres of Land. His father owned 25 acres, and 21 of it went down to liquor. Full bottles always needed in the house to keep him silent. His mother now worked in the 4 acres left. Two days back early morning, his mother went to farm alive, but was bought dead, due to a viper bite. Today was his exam, he had to take a bus to Parbhani, 20kms ride from his village. Tension and depression, drove him to consume the quarter bottle country liquor, which was readily available in the house. He did this act for the first time in his life. He boarded the bus and came to the exam. He gave me a cell number and asked me to inquire in case I did not believe him, it was the phone number of the village Sarpanch. What followed was my firsthand experience. I was shell shocked. I composed myself and then I talked.

I preached for 30 minutes. All the things that I would have told if he was my son. I preached and discoursed and spoke. He listened, I thought, it was ‘alcohol’, which had made him a good listener, for he listened like an old sincere dog. For two times he interrupted and begged me not to give him to the police. I justified him, assured him. More than anything I wanted him to come for the rest of the exams, so his career won’t be ruined. He assured he will come, only if the college authorities didn’t hand him over to the police. I promised him that wouldn’t happen. Then I stopped. Took his cellphone number. I called my Post graduate student Mukesh Paithane, who was working in the lab, besides and watching the proceedings. I gave some money and told him to feed Raju some lunch and buy him a ticket home, which Mukesh did, on the way he preached my teachings, which I had instilled in him for all these year, to Raju. Peer to peer education, you may say. Both disappeared from the scene. I remembered and called the Sarpanch, more shocks followed. The Sarpanch not only justified the truth of Raju’s claims but said, “Saheb! Toady while collecting his wife’s ashes and returning, Raju’s father in drunken state, somehow managed to bring his leg in the moving wheel of bullock cart, and had it seriously fractured, we have admitted him to the civil hospital and Doctors have recommended an urgent operation, please send Raju urgently here. ” I sat in an abyss for next hour till Mukesh returned and academic routine followed.

Raju went to his village, never to return again. Daily I checked exam halls, praying and hoping to see Raju. But my efforts were in vain. I had his phone number, I called him. He responded once, begged again, that he feared we will hand him over to police, and he was in bad times. I offered every help, even financial if needed. He obliged, thanked on the phone, said will meet me, but he didn’t. I called again, he had disowned the number. “Ha Phone astitivaat naahi ~ was all I heard”. I thought I would go to this village and meet the Sarpanch. But it was a wild imaginary idea, which did not grow further.

Six months passed, one fine day as I came to college early for my morning Lecture and was about to open the Department, a young boy smiled at me and wished me in marathi. I instantly recognized him, he was Raju. Happiness filled my heart. I escorted him in and asked about his whereabouts, more importantly his education. He said, he is doing a correspondence course and he has come for the first time, since that incidence, and so early to meet me, fearing the college authorities. I assured him of his foolish fears, that nobody remembers you now. He wanted me to fill some forms which was in English. I did so. He thanked me and said I will never forget you sir. You are a good man, a brother and a father to me, you saved me from bars. And also may be I would have committed suicide, as that thought occurred to me a hundred times, but your words you said that day, always ringed in my mind and the idea of suicide was kicked away. No one had told me such good things about life sir. I will always remember that. I tried to recall what I said. I didn’t. He went away.

Today, the man in police uniform, with a stick in his hand, who grabbed a hold of my bicycle handle was that young police constable, RAJU, who had forced me to stop. As I looked into his eyes, I instantly recognized him, “Raju! How are you brother?” He made an attention stance and saluted me in the midst of the road, and then bent down to touch my feet. I was embarrassed like a fool. I asked “Arre! But how did you recognize me, in this cyclists outfit?” Sir he said, “I will recognize you in any outfit. I will never forget you. I am what I am only due to, what you had said that day. I remember and will follow every word you said, that day. You pulled me out of a possible situation of life and death. I promise you sir to remain an honest police and help people the way you do. I will meet you soon, sir!” He went and I cycled, both in opposite directions. I forgot the tiredness of that 100Km ride, eager to go home and narrate this incidence to my wife, hoping my son to be on the lunch table, passively hearing, the things I say.
Truly, we never know which lives we influence, or when, or why. In learning one teaches, and in teaching one learns. As Galileo said “You cannot teach anybody anything, but only help him find it within himself”.

CHAI PE CHARCHA

I uttered some kannada lines as a conclusive remark over a discussion, while I was having 'chai' with my wife. We all, including my kids, speak Kannada in our house. My wife and my kids know 'Tulu' in addition, which I do not. There are two types of Tulu, and my dad understood both, and spoke one, he even knew Telugu, which most of his contemporaries know very well even today. I understand Telugu to a great extent, if not full, thanks my Uncle’s service first in Nizamabad and then in Hyderabad, where most of my holidays were spent. Latter on a torrent of brilliant students from Andhra Pradesh in mid-nineties, whom I mentored, were helpful in reviving my understanding of this ‘mast’ language. For the first time I ventured typing Kannada (with due credits to my wife, as she helped in correcting and I am not versed in it). 

A little history behind these lines - Until my father passed away in 2010, it was a ritual in my life that we three, me, my dad and my wife used to have tea together, and deliberate on various topics of this world and life. Topics ranged as impromptu as they arouse. It was a clockwork routine, which no one even thought of skipping, as it was happy hours for my dad, and enriching moments for us. During that daily one hour session with 'Appa', as I used to call him, he sat on the sofa or on a chair besides a table, and we both husband and wife, sometimes along with our kids, sat on the floor listening and participating in that randomly sprouted topic of the day. He was a man of great humour, who had the knack of converting and concluding any serious issue in a light and philosophical way. 

The one-hour family 'Chai pe charcha' always, till his end, ended happily. Now that he is no more, his memories and the event remains.I with my wife daily ritually never miss to have morning tea together, with long discussions. Some days, she waits, until I return from cycling and I have a second round of tea. If Morning College’s timetable doesn't allow time for this precious conference, then the tea meet is postponed for in the evening. It gets more interesting then, with an additional advantage of peeking in the balcony, while sipping tea, watching the world passing by (may be my next scrap book page will be MY BALCONY ;). At this time, our growing kids too participate enthusiastically. Sometimes it's humour time with kids as they narrate funny happenings from their school campus. I am unknowingly now playing my 'Appa's' role, of the co-ordinator.

Our yesterday’s discussion concluded me impromptu saying and concluding the days discussion with these lines, ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಸರಿಯಾದ "ಕ್ರಮ" ನೀವು ಫಾಲೋ ಮಾಡಲಿಲ್ಲ ಎಂದರೆ ~ ನಿಮ್ಮ "ಕರ್ಮ" ನಿಮ್ಮನ್ನು ಫಾಲೋ ಮಾಡುತ್ತದೆ ಎಂಬುದು ಒಂದು ಹೊಸತಾಗಿ ಅರಿತ ‘ಗ್ಯಾನ್’ which means nothing more than the fact that - if a man doesn't follow discipline in life, his karma will follow him. Now this is a blunt translation of its meaning. 

TRADITIONAL BACKBOARD  Vs DIGITAL BOARD



There always was, is and will remain a debate on which one is better the traditional chalk and black board or the digital white board. Personally I think it should be a 70:30 combination of the two, favoring the traditional black board. When a teacher draws a figure, flowcharts, equations, pathways, concepts on the board, these concepts virtually are drawn on to the students mind, whereas the power-point slides are just flashed on and off in a jiffy. The major advantage of the blackboard system is its longevity of impact it can have as a defacto standard on the students mind. A blackboard harnesses more effective powers to retain concepts in the core memories. I think teaching with chalk board is irreplaceable. A teacher can easily deliver the subject by writing on chalkboard. Many sitting over the other side of this knowledge business do not like oral presentations without some writing done or only with flash slides popping in and out. In subjects like math’s use of black board with chalk is the only way of teaching. In biology diagrams help students who draw them in their note books, when teacher draws them on the board, time is available for them. In physics derivation can be easily derived in a manner understandable to students by use of chalk board. In chemistry stoichiometry of equation, formulas, chemical reactions can well be taught only by use of a board. Students interested in taking running are greatly aided by this non electronic and manual device and writing on black board gives them ample time to make notes. Multimedia though are very good in areas of animations. Concepts which are very hard to mobilise on blackbords can be easily made to move and thus understand via animations. Finally on the basis of my two characters first my 25 years of passionate teaching experience and second an electronic savvy teacher that I am, I conclude that a teacher must use a black board to deliver 60-70% of his/her time and syllabus to the students and remaining time and syllabus could be explained using multimedia.

Lecture Notes on Water Microbiology

Classroom topics like Air, Water, Sewage, Food Microbiology coming under applied aspects of curriculum have been always considered boring for the teacher and the listener, and I always begged to differ. I could never contain myself, on more than one occasion, to stray away from the topic sometimes philosophically and sometimes aggressively and waste a few lectures, preaching things which are not confined to the boundaries of curriculum. I always thought I was really preaching the "bench tied" scapegoats, out of their academic interests. Though most of the times it may remain true, but occasional rewards like this poem from an amateur simmering harmone of a thoughtful teenager makes that whole effort rewarding. Most of the alumni too keep rewarding by mentioning how vital they see those "out of track" talks which may have not fetched any marks but have left a permanent mark in their lives. I wonder how many science teachers and their lectures have been heard as a song and gradually been converted into a poem in students' mind. If there is an feeling for getting the highest reward for being a teacher then I am a proud owner of it at present.

किस्सा गणेशजी का परभणी में 
(Based on true events)

गणेशजी ने इस बार कैलाश पर्वत से धरती की ओर प्रस्थान करने से पहले माता पारवती और पिता शंकरजी से हट्ट किया “इस वर्ष तो मेरे साथ आप दोनों को परभणी आना ही होगा, हर बार मै अकेला ही जाता हूँ, कई लोगों से सूना है की इस बार परभणी आथित्य सम्मान का “हॉट स्पॉट” हो गया है, हर कोई वहाँ जाना चाहता है, लोग बहोत ही प्यारे और अथिती प्रिय हो गये है, आप भी आ जाइये और इस सेवा का आनंद लीजिए” भोलेनाथ ने कहा “पुत्र आज मेरी इच्छा सबल नहीं है, फिर किसी दिन जाते है” गणेशजी हट्ट करने लगे, फिर भी भोलेनाथ की कुछ इच्छा नहीं हो रही थी. पास ही बैठी माता पारवती इस वार्तालाप को शान्ति से सुन रही थी, बोल उठी “तुम तो हर बार नहीं कह देते हो, चल कर देखे तो इस परभणी गाँव में क्या है” इश्वर बोले “देवी मेरा ही बनाया गाँव है, और मेरा ही इसे वरदान है और वह यह की कोई कितना भी चाहे, सिर्फ भाग्यवान और ह्रदय में निर्मल प्रेम लेकर जाने वाले को ही इस गाँवका अथिथ्य लाभ होता है, और यहाँ के लोगों की परीक्षा तो बिलकुल मत लेना कारण ऐसी इच्छा ही तुम्हे लोग ना मिलने का कारण बन सकती है और न जाने क्यों आज मेरे यहाँ जाने में मन दुविधा कर रहा है” देवी अन्नपूर्णा ने ठान लिया की इस बात की परीक्षा ले ही लेते है और हस कर बोली “चलो चलकर देख ही लेते है और वैसे भी हमें भाग्य की क्या की क्या जरूरत है ” भगवान् शंकर स्मिथ हास्य अपने गालों पर लाते हुए बोले “देवी, ये तो तुम वहाँ जाओ तो जानो, पवित्र मन से जाना ही उचित है, परीक्षक बनकर नहीं, मगर तुम कहती हो तो चलो अपने भाग्य के बल को इस गाँव जाकर देखते है”. प्रस्थान की प्रस्थावना देख गणेशजी खुशी से उछलते हुए बोले “जय हो”. जब प्रस्थान का वक्त आया तब थोड़ा सावधान हो कर भगवान् बोले “अगर हम ऐसे रूप में जायेंगे तो कोई भी हम पर विश्वास नहीं करेगा, यहाँ सिर्फ मूर्ती रूप में तुम्हे पहचाना जाएगा” तभी माता बोली “तो इसमें कठिनाई क्या है, चलो मूर्ती रूप धारण कर लेते है और देखते है सबकुछ स्तिथप्रद्न्य होकर”. माता को अपने सात चलते देख गणेशजी प्रसन्नता से फूले नहीं समा रहे थे और अगले ही क्षण तीनो परभणी रेलवे स्टेशन पर अवतरित हुए. रेलवे स्टेशन उन्होंने इसी लिए चुना क्यों की, आखरी आथित्य दर्शन और पर्भानिकरों की करतूत उन्हें देर रात तक इसी जगह होते देखा था. 

 

 
 

अब वे क्या जाने यह गाँव कितना निराला था, हर उत्सव को लाभ या नुक्सान के में तोलने वाली यहाँ की व्यापारिक जनता इन सुन्दर मूर्तियों को देखते ही अपने व्यापार कुशलता से पास वाले आंध्र राज्य से आये खरीदारों को प्लेटफार्म पर ही सौदा कर तीनो को तगड़े दाम बेच दिया. शंकरजी का परिवार इससे पहले कुछ सोचे एक युवती ने आकाशवाणी कर दिया “कृपया ध्यान दीजिये, निजामाबाद की ओर जाने वाली पैसेंजर गाडी एक नंबर प्लेटफार्म के बजाय, तीन नंबर प्लेटफार्म पर आएगी, असुविधा के लिए खेद है” सौदागरों ने बड़ी गड़बड़ और सावधानी से गैर कानुनी तरीके से पहले शंकरजी और गणेशजी को तीन नुम्बर पर ले आये, माता पार्वती पीछे से लायी गयी. यहाँ आकर पता चला की गाडी थोड़ी लेट हो जाएगी, तब गणेशजी परभणी के स्टेशन पर पिता के पीठ पर बैठ, उनकी जटाए धर “घोडा घोडा” खेलते हुए नज़र आये. कुछ समय बाद जब रेल गाडी आई और पिता पुत्र डिब्बे में चढ़ बैठे, तो माता पारवती स्टेशन पर ही रह गयी और गाडी छूट गयी. यह सब इंसानी मायाजाल समझने में उन्हें वक़्त लग रहा था, हताश हुई माता गणेशजी को पुकारने लगी. हमेशा की तरह गणेशजी माता का दुःख देख नहीं पाए और अपने आप को और एक रूप में आकर माता की गोद में विराजमान हुए. माता थोड़ी प्रसंनित लग रही थी तभी फिर से आकाशवाणी हुई “सिकन्द्राबाद की ओर जाने वाली देवगिरी एक्सप्रेस गाडी प्लेटफार्म नंबर एक पर आएगी, गणेशजी जान गये इसी से पिताजी वाली गाडी धरी जा सकती है. माता के संग वो एक नंबर चले गये और देवगिरी एक्सप्रेस होते हुए अपने पिता के पास पहुँच गये. परभणी रेलवे स्टेशन पर ही उनकी पर्भानिकारों को मिलने की सारी आशा आकांक्षा ख़त्म हो गयी और उन्हें भोलेनाथ की बतायी बात याद आई. दूर से उन्हें लोगो के घोषणाये सुनाई दे रही थी:
“गणपती बाप्पा मोरया ~ पुढच्या वर्षी लवकर या”
(Dedicated to Shree, Hiranya, Ganesh, Manaswini, Saloni, Pratham,Dhruv, Pracheti and Simmilar species)

Masala Dosa Personality - WHICH ONE IS YOU ??

There are many ways to eat a masala dosa .What ever the way one eats; there is a very good reason for doing that. It shows some traits of the person consuming it...

Case 1: People who open the masala dosa and eat it: These are the people who are very open about their life. Everyone one the persons friends would know all about him/her. I have generally seen guys do this rather than girls. Some people think that it is a gross way of eating but in truth, these people are just portraying who they are and how their life is.
Case 2: People who start from both end and approach the masala later: These are the people who like to wait for the exiting things to come to their life. Sadly when the times comes, they are not too interested or just do not know how to enjoy it to the fullest. These are the folks who just want life as either dry or exiting. They just do not know how to phase their life and enjoy it no matter what. There are two types of people within this group 
Case 3: People who do not finish all the masala: These folks just do not care as much for the fun times as they are already brought down by the harsh reality of life. The dry periods in their life has left them with so much scars that they do not want to be really happy when the time is right. They just take only as much as they needed and end their life. A very sorry state indeed.
Case 4: People who finish all the masala with the little dosa they have: These are the folks who just are the extremes. They just go all out in life. No matter it is dark or bright. They may not enjoy life to the fullest but they sure make sure that they get every single good and bad thing out of life. Sometimes these folks are really hard to get along with. They are either your best friends or your worst enemies. They do not have a middle path at all.
Case 5: People who start from the middle and proceed to both ends: These are the people who like to get right to what they think is their best part of life. Usually these guys finish of the good portions in a hurry and get stuck with nothing but worst parts of their life. The thing to note among these people is that the tendency to burn out very early in their life. Like the above case, there are two kinds of people in this group too.
Case 6: People who do not finish the dosa: These folks are really the saddest of people. They are the ones who tend to end their life as soon as it hits the bad patch. For them, they only need and want the best things in life and nothing more. Typically, they are not prepared or tuned to life as a whole. They just want to enjoy from first till last. Sadly, no one in the world can live without even an ounce of sadness in life. Not even the richest of the richest. But to self-destruct at the mere sign of distress is very bad. That is what these guys tend to do. Some learn to live life but most of them do not.
Case 7: People who do finish the dosa: These folks are the typical human beings. We all enjoy the greatest of times in life and push the sad parts thinking about the great times in life. Typically the plate is clean and nothing is left for fate or in life. Happiness and sadness are part of life and these guys know that and are kind of prepared for it. Life is not always happy but there are moments of happiness here and there.
Case 8: People who eat the dosa making sure that the masala lasts for the whole dosa: These people are very rare. These are the people who like to attain balance in their life. It is hard to displease these people and it is hard to make them really happy. They like their balance and are very protective of it. Sadly these are the people who tend to be lonely as anyone else may upset the balance of their system. Perfectionist to the core and are very careful. These guys do not make the best company but are needed in any group to make the group from going hay wire.
Case 9: People who do not share and eat the dosa as if it is precious: These folks are very protective about their life. They do not want anyone to come and interfere in their life. They like to hide their true nature and intensions for their benefit. Beware of such people as they are in every group for their own need and nothing else.

So next time you sit with a person eating a masala dosa, look closely and see if he falls into one of the above categories. You may be surprised as how much it reveals about the person*

Enjoy eating Masala Dosa

6) MY ENCOUNTER WITH PATHOGENS

(Facts Stranger than Fiction --Revealed)

I, Dr. Shiva Aithal, in search of a few pathogenic microbes and with a purpose of inviting one or two yesterday traveled inside my own body and started investigating. I began my journey from my mouth up to intestine; I could go no further and came back, as I went. My intentions were also to know their reactions on us humans calling them as “pathogens”.  When I was going down the throat, to my surprise I found myself immediately surrounded by millions of bacteria and all ‘yucky’ and slimy. I could not make up weather they were rapidly multiplying or rapidly dying, but it was a sea of bacteria nevertheless. They were curious why I came. To my amazement I found that there were in a ratio of 10 bacteria to 1 human cell. 

When I tried to ask something they dragged me to their “Chief” bacteria which looked like an old dying senior member in the crowd. The “Chief bacterium” was casual and my presence had no effect on him. It took me a great deal to grab his attention and put up an interview with him. The chief of the bacterial community said he had no time and as he was in his death phase will die soon. I grabbed an interview without paying attention. The excerpts of the interview are given below.

Me: “So Chief how many of YOU are there in my body, I see so many of you, can you give me the exact number and yes how many of you are pathogenic?

(The chief was clearly irritated by the last part of my question)

Chief Bacteria: What do you mean by how many are pathogenic?? It is relative term. How easily you forget what our Godfather had said “Never underestimate the power of microbes”. Whatever you call us by different names do you really know that we are more than 100 trillion – and more than two kilos of “ONLY US” inside your body? We are your “micro-biomes” and we behave as another organ in your body.

Me: Why get so angry chief? Do you not consider yourself a pathogen? I guess you are one because you have a ‘capsule’ surrounding you!

Chief Bacteria: Hey! So what you shameless creature – did you not create knives, guns, bombs and nuclear weapons to kill and burn your own people? Can you forget Hiroshima and Nagasaki? Who is a “Pathogen” You or Me? (He resembled a powerful orator) We don’t kill our own community like that only. Even when we do it is a highly mutually understood balance of energy, when we die, we become source of energy to our own community and many a times for you too. When will you realize that, Oh!! You will never understand because you never know how to LISTEN to us! How many of you die for your own brothers and sisters-MAN-come on tell me-give examples!! You never do that! You betray your own community, we never do that Sir!! Yes NEVER – MIND IT!! I don’t have time for your “nonsense” and I have not time for you either I have to die with glory. And about my “capsule” and its relation with being a “pathogen” My Dear Boy!!! (it was EERIE feeling-a bacterium calling me like that) a knife in the hand of a thief takes away life but in the hands of a surgeon saves many. Think on that!!! If you have the intellect.

(Saying this chief called another bacterium, which was passing by and told him to answer the rest of my questions. I saw the old chief dying and just getting dissolved and vanishing in to the sea of vigorous metabolism. But what a glorious speech before death I thought. In my world this speech would have become immortal. The new bacterium looked somewhat younger, a bit matured, and more thoughtful; I probed further, as I asked the bacteria in front of me – still deep in my thoughts)

Me: Hello-Buddy may I know your name?

It replied in Bond Style.

Bacterium: I am Influenzae! H. influenzae

Me: Oh-Hi! You seemed to be bit relaxed. You look like a pathogen too. What do you cause to us? (On this it laughed sarcastically).

H. influenza: Ha! Ha! Ha! You humans and your terminologies. OK in your language I am an opportunistic pathogen; like my younger brother E. coli. that is, I live in you without causing disease, but can cause you problems only when you allow viral infections, if you develop reduced immune function or get chronically inflamed tissues from allergies. What I want to say is that if you create an opportunity then in your language I am a pathogen.

Me: Oh I see. You want to play the blame game? Why blame us and our “system” when you too are an integral part of us? Can’t you ever help us rather than causing disease always?

H. influenza: Dear Doctor-Please be mindful when you are giving suggestions. What do you think - is it us who cause disease? No never! Go and ask your ancestors if possible. We are associated with you right from your evolution days.

(I clearly knew my next question will make him angry, but I was confident because no one from my world was watching me and anyway strangely when you go inside your own body the “EGO” does not function.)

Me: Now what has YOUR ‘Pathogenicity’ to do with OUR ancestors?

H. influenza: Oh! How ignorant you are? How good were those days when we struggled together for existence? We helped out each other in difficult times. No pollution, clean water and air, cleaner nature, no medicines and no pharmacy. They knew us better and controlled us nicely with their “immune system” which was not only their “main factory” but a friendly one too.  It was their property; it never harmed us so we never meant any loss to them. Go and if possible ask them - Did they ever suffer like your present generation? They were more sensible and friendly with us.

(I was obviously defensive and asked rather over confidently).

Me: And now what have we done?

H. influenza: You present people- eating junk food, you push your immune system to its limit, by doing things that weaken it more such as eating junk foods/sugar, stress, lack of water and sleep, years of body abuse and unhealthy lifestyle, you will get sick, you invite and provide us the “opportunity” to grow. We are just doing our natural job, with your permission. You will eventually reap what you sow.

(I was beginning to lose my confidence as I thoughtfully asked my next question.)

Me: OK! OK! I agree? But why the rage, why the anger? When you cause epidemic? You spare no one?

(I was taken by surprise when he unexpectedly reprimanded me for this question)

H. influenza: You idiots you will never understand us - Will you? It is you who call it as endemics, pandemics whatever! We just go on an immunization spree once in a while to help you out from our possible mutations. All those fools without an efficient own immune power succumb. Tell me clearly do we have a role in your immune system-NO boss never. It is only you who make it weaker.

Me: Never ever thought like that! But why will you ever wish to help us humans out?

H. influenza: It was a tryst with destiny. We promised your ancestral man, that we will protect you from any of our ‘natural mutations’ which is a natural part of our evolution process. But now it seems that you have broken that trust and YOU create environments by your “bad habits” in which we are mutating more rapidly than ever. It is so sad that it is neither in your control or ours. (He was now getting irritated) OK let me go, I am in my “log-phase”, I cannot waste my precious time like this I have a lot to “Synthesize” and “Finish” before I die. Growing up with only “Talking” and no work seems to be your “Tendency” not ours. Time is short for me. Will you ever understand these words??? Huh?

Before I could say anything he just dashed off and became invisible to me. I went further down and entered my Stomach, I felt the burnt. Stinging sensation grabbed my feet. I realized it was my Stomach’s acid. Today I drank less water than regular. How unforgivable my body is for me, I thought, every day I drink 6 liters of water for this very purpose and even then, one day I forget and no excuses. I resolved that I will never forget to consume the required quantity of H2O from here on. 

With great difficulty I crossed the Stomach as I could only see enzymes oozing out from my own cells and food getting broken down. It was hell of a workshop. Only few bacteria were present and all tried to behave like “big-shots” and unheedingly doing their work, each one looked after one “molecule” only and acted like Incharge of that molecule. They simply did not rest till it was converted to ATP. I thought the acidic environment has made these stomach bacteria workaholic. As I moved further, with great difficulty, I found myself pitying their acrimonious behavior. Still I could not grab a “Pathogen” when suddenly a number of bright yellow colored balls fell on my head, they just kept rolling and falling in a sequence and I got “a bad bump” on my head. In a fit of anger, I grabbed one by my hand and was about to throw away when it shouted.

Ball like Structure: Oye! Oye! Oye! Boss-I am cocci- Staphylocci. Don’t you respect other than yourself type of “life-forms”. Keep me down and mind you be gentle.

One more I thought. I carefully (rather fearfully) kept it down slowly.

Me: What are you up to Mr. Staph? Showing your pathogenic powers here? (One more Pathogen I thought and prayed out of fear it not be the dangerous methicillin resistant species MRSA).

Staph: What do you think? I am as good as you want me to be! Lucky you! I know what you are thinking-Don’t worry I’m not what you think. I’m just your normal staph and not the resistant one. And it’s you who bought me here.

Me: ME and how’s that? Could you please explain??

Staph: Crazy fellow you ate “Paani-puri” with your friends and transported me here. (suddenly I heard echoing dual voice and saw that infront of my eyes the staph I was talking to was just doubling in planes and I was talking to four Staphylococci as it continued….) I was happy in that food-stuff with that pani-puri wallah. But you like that “Junk” so much that you could never stop after eating a few. So here I am having a tough time fighting with your antibodies, who are hell bent to kill me? What will you do if your enemy attacks you, will you sacrifice yourself or counter attack in defense??? Answer me! And you call me a ‘pathogen’ (it kept on doubling and strangely were not separating from each other and I was getting confused to whom I was really talking to).

Me: You mean to say you are my food borne infection, then why have I not got symptoms like vomiting or fever?? (I was really wondering)

Staph: Gracious goodness!! What a gratitude MAN? Do good and cast it in the river! Eh? All the time I have been “Controlling myself” for your sake, my progeny and parent are getting killed-for your sake and you question my credentials. Wait till dawn – Doctor – you better start writing a sick application to your boss from here itself??

As it expressed its anger, it grew in clusters more rapidly and I could not make its words. It seemed as if it growled and howled and just moved away further like a bunch of growing grapes. I thought I angered the food borne Staph. and was beginning to think ‘why the hell I ate that road-side stuff’. I was beginning to worry about my health. What if it started to produce toxins, I decided to leave it alone and hurried away from there. 

I was about to move further when I saw some bacteria suspiciously hiding behind the mucous, I just tried to peek in when I realized that there were many deep down, shocked just as I was about to retreat, a good bent curved rod attracted my sight. It was so hell “bent” and doing something, which raised my curiosity as I moved closer to it. As I approached nearer I could see them in thousands all furiously working and not noticing me. I had never read about them in my B.Sc. or M.Sc. I wondered why our syllabus was so un-informative. I tried to communicate with one of them, and enquired (after my Staph. Encounter I was automatically beginning to get more polite)

Me: “Hello! Sir may I know who are you in my body and what are you doing???”

Curved Rod:  I am Pylori - Helicobacter pylori, move aside let some air pass in, previously you people used to call me Campylobacter pyloridis. Ah!! A good question what am I doing here?? But if I keep answering your silly questions I will die without glory – get lost ask someone else.

Saying this he suddenly took one molecule of Urea (I never knew that my stomach had so many molecules of urea) and spit some fluid on it and suddenly converted that urea molecule to ammonia. Oh I remembered it had “spit” urease enzyme and converted it to ammonia – which made the acidic molecule to alkaline and it survived. This was the vigorous work which all similar curved bacteria were doing. I still wondered from where it came and why is it doing all these. But somehow I felt better to see my acidity getting lowered down. These guys were regulating my stomach acidity.

Me: Ahem! Sir! Can I ask you (I asked hesitantly) are you pathogenic??

H. pylori: Look Boss! First of all, please move aside let some air pass in and secondly move away from me – we are not only Pathogens but also the first formally recognized bacterial carcinogen and one of the most successful human pathogens, as over half of the world's population is colonized with us. Unless treated, we remain with you for your life, and why the hell don’t you move aside and let some air come through.

I realized that it was microoerophillic and so kept demanding for air. I recently read that mounting evidence suggests that H. pylori though undoubtedly a ‘Pathogen’ have an important role in protecting from some diseases and regulating stomach acidity. All were vigorously working, due to which they looked like the “Hunchback of Notre-Dame”. Some were so bent that they almost became coccoidal. Most of them held hand in hand while working, they did seem to like getting separated. Like this collectively they appeared like a transparent film, Ah! What a ‘biofilm’ I thought.

Me: Err! Sir can you tell me even being Pathogenic why I don’t get to feel your presence?

Actually I meant to say “Infections” but then I tried to be humble while questioning but I had used the term “Pathogen” confidently because it had not only proclaimed itself as one but also called itself a “Bacterial carcinogen” a new terminology which I had to Google after going back. To my surprise it was not angry being called a ‘pathogen’ as it replied.

H. pylori: See my dear HOST! Many of our types are fighting it out in your digestive tract, and the winners can determine your risk for a range of health problems. Your belly is a very popular place. We as many as 100 trillion microbes call it our home. One good thing for you is that many of them are beneficial for you because they process hard-to-digest foods, produce nutrients, and as we're now learning to guard you against disease. We as a community synthesize vitamins such as folic acid, vitamin K and b and one biotin, ferment complex indigestible carbohydrates inside your body. Even outside in the nature, when you throw us out of your body, we decompose and recycle dead insects, animals and organisms. And please why don’t you take a deep breath boss! I need some air and now please move on, I have a hell lot of work to finish off.

Saying this he held the hand of his co-workers and all combined to form a big ‘biofilm’ and got back to their work. I decided to leave them alone. At least they accepted that they were pathogens and more than that, and Boy! Were they not humble in that? I dared not trigger ‘antagonism’ in them which will affect no one else but only me.

As I advanced further my curiosity reached newer levels and I was wondering what lay in store of my GUT, I had already started to get that eerie "feeling!!!".

……..Can be Continued by Readers